What a Terrible Label or Diagnosis BPD

What a terrible Label to put on Anyone

Boarder Line Personality Disorder

I was in my mid fifties when I was first diagnosed with BPD.

My first reaction to the label BPD was, No Way!  I can't even imagine how I will be received by People, Places and Things going forward.  Imagine trying to get help at a new doctors or going to emergency when they see that on my file; It was bad enough with the history I already had.

All the other labels I had been given in my lifetime, since 1960.  ADHD, Depression, Codependent, Anxiety, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I can't even remember all the labels. The labels/diagnoses  meant medication/s, treatment centre, counselling,  psychiatrist, group counselling, hospital stays, basically you name it I have tried it. Only to find out that I have a disorder that doesn't respond to medication. The disorder is not a chemical imbalance in the brain.
It is a disorder that will require Behaviour Therapy not medication so much.

DBT Dialectical Behaviour Therapy 

& 

CBT Cognitive Behaviour Therapy 

 BPD Starts 
with 
Family of Origin 
& 
their History 

For all of us, our family has a large impact on who we are, our values, our Belief System, and how we view ourselves. This initial socialization and the bonds created will often have an impact far beyond childhood. When this childhood was involved trauma or other issues, then it can be seen as a family of origin issue.

Here is a great example of a Negative Belief

We may believe that we are a failure because of something a teacher said when we were a child. We internalized this and it became a belief because it came from an “authority” whose word we took as truth. Or perhaps it was from a teammate whose acceptance we desired. Hearing this harsh criticism may have created emotional trauma. Instead of working through this and using at motivation for success, perhaps we held onto this, and spent our entire lives walking around with the belief that we are going to fail. Perhaps we used this as justification to not try at all because we “knew” it would just result and failure. We would continually perpetuate this belief that we would fail if we “put ourselves out there” through our thinking: “You’re just going to screw this up”; “See I told you that you couldn’t do it”. The constant chatter in our heads will be our most harsh critic and deflate us before we can even get going, providing all the reasons why we shouldn’t do something. In the end, it became the fear of failure that ruled our lives and the belief that was just how it would be.


Parents:

• Were they loving, nurturing, supportive? 
• Did they have good relationships with Friends, Family and Co-Works?
• Was your home address static/consistent?
• Were they Gainfully Employed static/consistent?
• Was there Substances Abuse/Addictive Behaviour?
• Was there Physical, Emotional. Verbally and/or Mental Abusive to you, your siblings or between you parents?  

The second, what was is like for your Parents growing UP? 

Physical, Sexual, Mental, Emotional & Verbal abuse is a learned behaviour passed through the generations. 

Parents are supposed create a Safe Nurturing Environment for the child in their tender years.  Parents/People are our Examples of how we are supposed to be when we grow up.  It is like we are a carbon copy of our examples, our Parents and other People that we came in contact with. 

This is not a Guilt of Blame exercise, it is to learn and understand that we all do the best with the information that we were given. 
The only way to start to get/feel better is to started to understand ourself and change our self-talk.
Exercise the brain & heart muscle regularly to create new responses.